Literally No Idea What I am Doing

So...I think it's working? Here is a picture of my skin this morning after I had done the routine next to the one from the first day. I don't know why the lighting is so orangey on the one from today. You can clearly see that there is significant less redness on my face today than there was on Tuesday. It is also much less irritated and sensitive to the touch. There even seems to be a little bit of brightness to my skin that isn't oiliness. You can also clearly see that I don't know how to make faces when taking a picture. Some miscellaneous thoughts I had about the products the last few days: --I cannot stress how concentrated the cleanser is. It only takes a tiny amount to foam up my whole face --The aloe does smell a little weird, kind of....I don't know. I can't explain it. But it's not a terrible smell and it doesn't linger --All of the products are incredibly light. Especially the peeling gel. It hardly feels like I am putting anythi...

Something people might not know about me is that I am extremely proud of my skin. It's pretty nice. It's pale, sure, but it's clear and smooth and it usually doesn't take much to keep it clean and look flawless. Until recently. My skin has been a nightmare these last few weeks. I have no clue why. It's been worse than it has been in recent memory. I hadn't changed what I was doing, which was a simple once a day cleanser and toner in morning and night with a BB cream and then makeup removal at night. But my face has been breaking out all over the place. This is one of the few things I actually really like about myself. I had to do something. Recently, I had heard about Korean skincare routines. Being a recovering Asianophile, I of course loved the idea of anything Korean. For those who don't know, Korean women, and Asian women in general, tend to be known for having flawless skin. Although this could be partially a genetic thing, what they are famous fo...

Another Side of Being Female This is something I have wanted to talk about for a while, but a recent post I read helped me decide to sit down and share my feelings. This is not a pity party or an attempt to steal the spotlight and honestly I don’t even care if it gets any attention whatsoever. I just want my voice out there, even if it is lost in the crowd. I have seen many beautifully written and heart-wrenching pieces detailing how difficult it can be as a female and dealing with daily sexual harassment and/or abuse their whole lives. I do not in any way intend to take anything from those stories because those are real people who were really hurt, abused, offended, and degraded. Their emotions are 100% valid and I wish everyone had more awareness of the kind of behavior those brave women have endured and overcome. All I want is to provide perspective from my own experiences, which are quite different from theirs but I feel is underrepresented as far as I have seen, and just ...

Depression is not for the faint of heart. A week ago, I was officially diagnosed with major depressive disorder, also known as major depression or clinical depression. This was not exactly a surprise. I have dealt with depression for as long as I can remember. But this was the first time I was actually told it was actually a big deal. I assumed it was the “normal” kind of depression, whatever that is. I just thought that it wasn’t too serious since I have never tried to kill myself or anything. But it is serious. I am slowly coming to realize how much my illness affects my life. From what I remember/understand that my new therapist told me, a big part of depression is an incorrect “wiring” in my brain, causing miscommunication and extreme emotional reactions to things. He told me that a lot of our thinking is formed by the time we’re seven, so if something taught us then to react a certain way, it’s likely that will stick with us for the rest of our lives. Another thing that a...

When I was growing up, I moved a lot and never had a chance to have many friends. Now that I’ve actually lived places long enough to form friendships, I have observed a pattern: Everybody leaves. I used to do the leaving by moving states away in a time when there was no texting or really even instant messaging or email. Now I am the one that is left. It’s not malicious. It’s probably not even intentional. I don’t make friends with cruel people. But whether it’s a boyfriend, girlfriend, job, family, a baby, or a new friend, my friends all eventually move on. Most do stay in contact, at least for a while. Very few have managed to stick around over the years (Moogle-chan, Raskolnikov, and my Asian), but even then we can go for days, weeks, and even months without speaking and years pass before we see each other. Family is excluded from this, obviously. They were my only constant throughout my semi-nomadic childhood. Don’t get me wrong. I love my friends. I don’t begru...