The Next Rotation

Now is the time of year when people go off on long, nostalgic rants about the ending year and the one that is eminent. They recant the things they have done, the things they have learned, and their goals for the next twelve months of their lives. This makes sense; one year is ending and another is beginning. It is a time of rebirth, starting over, and getting a clean slate. It is just like how every morning is the start of a new day, but on a bigger scale. It literally happens once a year.
Overall, this past year has been mixed, as I am sure it has been for most people. There have been some goods, some bads, and some in-betweens. Should I judge the quality of the year by the events that have transpired? That does seem a bit arbitrary as very often life events are out of our control.

Instead, I would perhaps prefer to critique my year based off of a quote from Parks and Recreation: “Are you better off?” Am I better off than I was a year ago? The answer is, undeniably, yes I am.
Over the last year, I have learned a lot. I learned about my depression and how to fight it. I learned what makes a true friend and what doesn’t. I learned that I am more than what I think I am. I learned that it is OK to admit your weaknesses. I learned how to start to take care of myself. I had my heart broken by a very dear friend. I had it healed a dozen times over by other, better friends, although I will probably always carry that scar. I stared deep into the darkness in my mind and I grabbed ahold and am starting to take control again. I found myself in the bottom of a well and I fought and clawed my way to the surface. I let myself try and succeed. I overcame some of my biggest fears. I allowed myself to dream again.I am finally starting to understand what happiness is and how to attain it.
So yes, I am better off. Life isn’t just a combination of good and bad events, it is how we handle those events that define the quality of our life. We can be beaten, battered, and bruised, but if we don’t give up and keep fighting, I count that as a good day.
That takes care of the past. What about the future?
Again, this is when everyone is making lists and plans for what they want the next year to be like. But can we really plan for that? How on earth can we predict what we will and will not be able to accomplish in the next twelve months?
For me, I have no idea what the next year will hold. Sure, I have a handful of things that I know for sure will happen. I am moving into an apartment, my sister will have a baby, I will work at my current job, birthdays will still occur. But the rest of it? No clue. Will I get married? Will I finally lose weight? Will I actually commit to my writing? Will I for some reason need a new job? Will I get sick or hurt? Will someone I love get sick or hurt? These things we cannot predict. I cannot know the state of my mind and life for a full year. Sure I can try, but the best I can do is promise to try and be better and be happy.
That is what I challenge people to do this year. Don’t worry about going to the gym five times a week or being perfect in saving and budgeting your money. Don’t try to become an exemplar of your faith or a paragon of virtue. Just be happy. Live your life in a way that you think will make you happy. Sometimes that will lead you into a direction you could never have dreamed, and that is perfectly fine. We can’t always know what will actually make us happy.

I can absolutely attest to that. If you had told me a year ago that this is where I would be today, I wouldn’t have believed it. Finally gotten a car and a license and had a job that actually holds promises of my future? That alone was unimaginable. I would have sworn to you that I would still be stuck miserable and going nowhere. Five years ago, I would have thought that this would be a horrible future. Unmarried, no boyfriend in sight, no family of my own? Also unimaginable. I would have sworn that I would have been married with at least one child by now. Perspective is an amazing thing.

So my advice is, don’t worry about your list. I know you have one. Make it up as you go. Trust me, you’ll be surprised at where you end up.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

One month into marriage

 This post is not about marriage. Very few things of the last month have lined up with my expectations for this period of my life. And before the chorus of "well duhs" come in, hold on a sec and listen to my rambling.  I didn't expect to be in my mid-thirties. I didn't expect to meet on an app. I didn't expect to be in Kansas. I didn't expect my dad to be dead. And I didn't expect that my sister would hate me. Hah! You thought this was going to be another post about my dead dad, didn't you? Nope, sucker. It's a totally different emotional and depressing familial scenario. I mean the dead dad thing still sucks, don't get me wrong. Especially at this time of year. But this is a whole separate kettle of onions, can of worms, giant stinky mess. I know that just by writing this (and inevitably posting on my Facebook), there's a chance my sister will see this and get extremely angry and make yet another post of her own on FB talking about how wro...
Read more

Memebox's Korean Beauty Starter Kit - Troubled Skin DAY 04

Image
So...I think it's working? Here is a picture of my skin this morning after I had done the routine next to the one from the first day. I don't know why the lighting is so orangey on the one from today. You can clearly see that there is significant less redness on my face today than there was on Tuesday. It is also much less irritated and sensitive to the touch. There even seems to be a little bit of brightness to my skin that isn't oiliness. You can also clearly see that I don't know how to make faces when taking a picture. Some miscellaneous thoughts I had about the products the last few days: --I cannot stress how concentrated the cleanser is. It only takes a tiny amount to foam up my whole face --The aloe does smell a little weird, kind of....I don't know. I can't explain it. But it's not a terrible smell and it doesn't linger --All of the products are incredibly light. Especially the peeling gel. It hardly feels like I am putting anythi...
Read more

This is my Nightwish

It started with four songs. Over the Hills and Far Away, Wanderlust, Nemo, and Sleeping Sun, mistakenly titled “Eclipse” on the file I had. I cannot tell you exactly when I received them, or the name of the person who gave them to me. All I remember is that it was 2005 (possibly 2004), and it was a friend of a friend I met on Neopets. Wanderlust especially intrigued me because I was deeply into Dragonlance and it reminded me of kender. Over the Hills and Far Away was cool. I have always wanted to write a short story about the plot of that song. I want to say my version of Sleeping Sun was the 2005 version, but I am not sure. Either way, I adored it. I still think of it as “Eclipse” sometimes because for the longest time, that is what I thought it was called. But of course, Nemo is what won my heart. How many of us say the same? There is just something about that song that draws you in. You get lost in it, enfolded in its haunting beauty. It is easily Tarja’s best song and one ...
Read more